This is KO-HEI, an online cram school and junior high school entrance examination math and science instructor.
This time"What parents should never do when taking the junior high school entrance exam"We will explain it by incorporating a true story.

The junior high school entrance examination is said to be a "parent's examination", and it is difficult to pass the school of your choice without cooperation with not only the child but also the parent and the cram school.
Parents also have to pick up and drop off their children to cram school every day, review cram school, and live according to the cram school curriculum, and for about three years from around the fourth grade of elementary school, the life of desperately working on the long rail of "junior high school entrance examinations" like children is a more difficult and difficult road than you can imagine. I can understand that sometimes it can be emotional, and it takes a lot of mentality.
However, on the other hand, we must not forget that the life of the "junior high school entrance examination" period during the past three years has a great influence on the growth of the child afterwards.

This time, as a result of being so desperate for the parents' "junior high school entrance exam" that they went in the wrong direction, it had a great impact on their child's helplessness and personality after entering junior high school, and at worst, he quit the preparatory school."Three worst things that parents with junior high school students should never do"We will inform you.

≪Worst 1: "If you enter 〇〇 junior high school (school of choice), you don't have to study"≫

You should never say things like "If you enter XX junior high school, you can rest assured that you will go to XX university (difficult university) even if you don't work hard anymore" or "If you work hard now, you won't have to study anymore."
Junior high school entrance exam students, only 10~12 years old!
Even if the parents say it with the intention of cheering up, the child will believe it as it is.
I will always remember these remarks from my parents.

"I just have to do my best now", "As long as I enter junior high school, I don't have to study anymore", and "If I enter 〇〇 junior high school, a fun life awaits me", I will raise my spirit and believe and do my best.
Parents are happy about their children's hard work, and they further spur them to say, "As long as you enter XX junior high school・・・・・" becomes a habit.
The child will do his best as if he was hinted at "a happy life as long as he enters XX junior high school".

When studying for the entrance exam, both parents and children work together towards the goal of "passing XX junior high school!" in this situation, and it is a seemingly good family environment.
However, we must not forget that this seemingly good family environment tends to gradually deteriorate after entering XX Junior High School.

〇〇 Junior High School is an excellent preparatory school with only students who have overcome the tough entrance examination.
After enrolling, the fast-paced learning of the preparatory school begins anew among these excellent students.

There comes a time when children get through studying for the entrance exam expecting that "as long as they enter XX junior high school, they don't have to study" or "I can play at XX junior high school!", but the reality is "not like that".
"My parents told me that as long as I entered XX junior high school, I wouldn't have to study..."
"When I entered junior high school, my family told me that I didn't have to work hard anymore..."

Ah~ I (I) was deceived by my parents!!

Let me tell you two true stories from here.
I am a boy who entered a junior high school attached to a very difficult university.
"As long as you enter the junior high school attached to XX University, you will go straight to XX University!"
This awareness was firmly established in his brain during the junior high school entrance exam, and his learning reached the goal point when he entered 〇〇 junior high school.

〇〇 He is in the second year of junior high school
"Why do I have to study even though I entered XX junior high school!"
"It would be nice if I could get promoted!"
"Is there any point in studying any more?"
"What do you have to study for!"
was a habit.
Even if it is not, boys in the 2nd~3rd year of junior high school almost enter the rebellious period.
He is at 〇〇 Junior High School, and he does not actively participate in club activities or school activities, and just goes back and forth between school and home.
In my student life, where the only purpose was to obtain an academic qualification from 〇〇 University, I fell into a sense of helplessness such as "always sleeping at home".

My parents can't confidently say to him, "Study hard!"
That two years ago
"As long as you enter the junior high school attached to XX University, you can enter XX University."
Because the child remembers what he said...
Even if he gets a university degree, he has nothing to do with "future goals, dreams, and a spirit of challenge"
"What was the junior high school entrance exam for?"I feel.

A girl who entered a super difficult girls' junior high school.
She always belonged to the top class at the junior high school entrance examination cram school, and she was sure to pass the super difficult junior high school.
The whole family will support her in this family!
Words of encouragement are, after all,
"As long as you pass 〇〇 junior high school, you don't have to study anymore..."

She believed in the words of this family and worked hard to pass the exam with flying colors! !
However, as mentioned above, the difficult junior high school I entered was full of excellent girls, and the progress was fast, so even she was smart and couldn't help but study.
As soon as I entered junior high school, I was cornered to study for a difficult university.
"If I pass XX junior high school, I said, 'I don't have to study anymore'..."
Her anger that she thinks she was betrayed by her parents is increasing day by day.

On the other hand, the parents' remarks made during the junior high school entrance exam, "Because I don't have to study anymore...", have already disappeared from memory, and "Why did you enter XX junior high school? I have to study hard...", and blasted his children.

In the end, her anger towards her parents did not subside, and she rebelled in the form of truancy and quit 〇〇 junior high school.
During the junior high school entrance examination, even though the family worked together to achieve the goal of "passing XX junior high school", the trust between parents and children was lost, and the junior high school entrance exam cornered her to the point where she felt "hatred" for learning rather than "joy" in learning.
"What was the junior high school entrance exam for?"I can't help but feel sorry for him.

I fully understand the feeling of being so desperate to study for the junior high school entrance exam that I think, "If I can get through this period...",The importance of parents not forgetting to stay calmI feel.
The junior high school entrance examination will continue with junior high school ~ high school ~ university from now on.It is just a process of school days, not a goal.
Rather, I would like parents to fully understand that studying for junior high school entrance exams will cause a big blow to their future lives, which will have a greater impact on their future lives.

And for children who are challenging the junior high school entrance exam
I sincerely hope that you will be able to study for the exam so that you can feel the fun and excitement of learning unknown things.

≪Worst 2: "If you score more than 0 points on the Sunday test, you can do XX"≫

I'm worried about the results of the immediate test (monthly test, Sunday test, etc.)."If you score more than 〇 points in the next test, you can do 〇○~" Parents tend to put conditions on their children with a sense of encouragement.Are.
It is often thought that this conditional encouragement will lead to a momentary increase in children's motivation and improve their grades, but it is a very naïve idea.
A child who is still around 10 years old.
Although you are aware of the junior high school entrance exam, it is natural to be fascinated by the fun of the place.

"For the time being, if you can get 〇 points in the Sunday test・・・・・ you can do 〇〇!"
To get 〇 points in the test "for the time being"...
If you can do question 1 and question 2 "for the time being", you can get 〇 points.
If you "remember" how to solve problem 1 and problem 2 "for the time being", you can get 〇 points.
The purpose is to score 〇 points.

Of course, it's good to make it a "goal" to get 〇 points on the test,〇 If scoring points is the "purpose" of studying, "learning is obligatory"It will become.

Compulsory study
"Why is this happening?" "Heh~ It's a strange phenomenon~" and I don't want to get the joy of learning unknown things.
I don't feel the joy of understanding, "Okay!"

"How can I solve problem 1?" and "How to solve problem 2?"Let's memorize the instructor's method for the time being, memorize the knowledge of the teaching materials, and achieve the goal of "winning 〇 points".It is said.

Actually
The brains of elementary school children absorb what they are interested in like a sponge, and they think they are "interesting!" and "fun!" I will take the initiative to learn what I think.
Children find it interesting to know the "process" of what they are interested in rather than the answer.
I have no awareness of studying at all, but I explore with a sense of play and develop my thinking skills.
Children's brains are more talented than adults can imagine.

I digress a little. Let's put it back.
At first glance, it is easy to think that conditional encouragement increases children's motivation to study and leads to improved grades, but in fact, children
It is only providing a means to obtain conditions.
Instead of studying to truly feel the joy of learning, it ends up encouraging the child"I studied to get my parents' permission to do 〇〇"I have to do it"I feel a sense of dutyIt is.
I think you know that studying with a sense of duty is not fun.
I think you can understand that you can't learn to study that is not fun.
Of course, grades do not improve.

occasionally
We hear from parents that "their children are studying hard, but their grades are not improving at all...".
Is the child really enjoying studying?
Are you learning with the joy of knowing the unknown?
Maybe it's a mandatory study. I would like you to look back on it again.

With the condition that "if you score more than 0 points on the test, you can do XX", the child
1. "I have to score 〇 points because I want to do 〇〇" and get 〇 points.purposebecome
2. Studying with a purposeSense of dutybecome
3. Mandatory studyDon't feel the joy of learning
4. Learning without the joy of learningI can't think
5. Children with poor thinking skillsI can't get academic ability
As a result of this phenomenon, it almost never leads to good results in junior high school entrance exams, let alone improved grades, or even in studying after junior high school.

Parents tend to be concerned about the class organization of the cram school and make conditions because they want to get as many points as possible on the monthly test (Sunday test, etc.), but if this becomes a habit, it will affect their motivation to study in the future more than they imagined.
They do not feel the joy of learning, which also has a big impact on the study of junior high and high school students.

≪Worst 3: It takes away the child's right to decide≫

It is natural that the junior high school entrance examination is not only for the children who take on the challenge, but also for the thoughts and requests of parents and families, and it is very understandable that they are responding to everything thinking that it is good for the child.
howeverPlease respect the child's wishes in the final decision.
because
"Because children take the junior high school entrance exam"Are.
In particular, the choice of cram school and the choice of school to take the exam must be "the school (cram school) the child wants to go to"Let your child make the decision.
As a result of parents taking away the right to decide on the school to take the exam, I would like to introduce a true story that ended in disappointment, "What was the purpose of studying for the junior high school entrance examination!", and I would like to end this theme "What parents of junior high school students should never do".

I was a boy in the 6th grade of elementary school, and around September, I received a request to prepare for past questions from the school I was taking the exam for.
As of September, there was a request from parents that they wanted to go to a junior high school attached to a university A or a junior high school B, so I immediately started asking past questions for math and science at junior high school attached to a university A and a junior high school.

However, two months later, in November.
In anticipation of not being able to solve the past questions of University A Junior High School, the parents contacted me saying, "I will quit because the junior high school attached to A University seems to be tough.
When I asked my child, "Didn't you want to go to junior high school attached to University A?", he replied, "Yes, I don't know," perhaps because he sensed "parents' idea that passing the exam is difficult."
Still, I felt the child's earnest wish that "I might be able to pass B junior high school...".

One month later, in December.
"My child wants to go to C junior high school! Instead, I will take the exam for the junior high school attached to D University, so please switch to the past questions of the junior high school attached to the university of D university."

As expected, I was surprised and asked him, "Didn't you want to go to B junior high school?"
I've never been to C Junior High School, and I don't know if I want to go."
I came back with an honest feeling.

When I tell my parents, "I want to go to B Junior High School, I don't know because I have never been to C Junior High School."
I was shocked to hear that I had quit the entrance exam for junior high school, saying, "The content of the Japanese language test at junior high school B is not suitable for the junior high school entrance exam, and the school that puts this content in the entrance exam does not fit my family's educational policy."

"Easily decide by the will of the parents, not the will of the child"It is.

When the child visits Junior High School B and decides to "I want to go!", it is easy to deprive the child of the right to make a decision due to the prejudice of parents who do not like the frequent content of the Japanese language.
From this point on, the child's motivation decreases and he cannot concentrate in class.
Naturally. I have been studying hard because I want to go to B Junior High School, but I am easily deprived of the right to make that decision...

Furthermore, while the new year is coming and the exam is a few weeks away,
When I gave advice, "Please review the past questions of C Junior High School and D University Junior High School again,"
Another shocking remark from a parent, "I quit taking the C junior high school entrance exam"...
The reason is
"No matter how you think about it, I don't think my son will pass C Junior High School..."
There was a reply.
Also
"Easily decide by the will of the parents, not the will of the child"It is.

In the last 5 months
I have been preparing for past questions from A University Junior High School to B and C Junior High School, and D University Junior High School."What was the preparation for the exam?"I can't shake off my anger and regret.
In the end
I took the exam three times at D University Junior High School (a school that can take the exam up to three times) and failed all of them.
His junior high school entrance exam was over.

why
"Do you want to take away your child's right to decide?"
In conclusion,
"Because parents don't trust their children completely."

"No matter what the result is, believe in what the child has decided for himself (I want to go to B junior high school) and praise the splendor of "doing what I decided to the end"."
I can't help but feel that this ending, which arose from not being able to sincerely think of my parents, has become a tragedy that hurts and cannot be forgotten.

Children take the examAre.
I want to go! I sincerely hope thatIt was the child who decided on the school to take the exam and studied hardAre.
Never deprive children of their right to make decisionsPlease do it.

"Parents with junior high school entrance exams should never do" I have described the three worst things based on actual experience.
This worst 3 is not just a "memory of the junior high school entrance exam era",We must never forget that it can remain in the hearts of children forever and have a great impact.

As leaders, we will also strive to be helpers who can "learn is fun" and help children to have future goals and dreams and take on various challenges.

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